I realized that, if I had spoken my truth with love in my heart (in other words, without anger and with conviction such as, “I hope you do not mind, but I cannot support you in this, it is just not what I believe in”), I would have escaped so much confrontation, negative energy, and being upset within myself. It was then that I began really being truthful in what I was saying. It was hard to begin with. I had been so used to telling a lie to most people when I was asked what I thought about something. But as I began being honest and speaking my truth, it became easier and easier to do.
It was then also that I began to see in people’s energy – in their aura – when they were not speaking their truth! It is a definite patterning in their auric field and is also accompanied by a “feeling,” a very distinct energy. My own lack of speaking my truth had actually masked my being able to see it in others. It was quite a revelation. I was able to watch people lie and see it in their auric field. I was fascinated and many times under my breath I said, “Liar.” I know now it was a terrible thing to do, but at the time it was so blatant to be able to see it. If I did happen every now and again to tell a lie, I was not able to live with it. It was as though not only did something inside of me know that I had told a lie, so did the higher energy I know as God. It was quite a revelation. Of course, when I was able to spend time with my spiritual teacher, he told me that I had spent many incarnations not speaking my truth. But he also pointed out why: most of the time it was about fear.
Another observation I have made is that, if one is working in a metaphysical field, then it is assumed one does not need money, and so readings, healing, teaching, etc. should be for free or one should charge only a couple of dollars. I have been very lucky in that, from the day I began working for those in Spirit, my income has always been what I needed. Prior to that I was so hard-up all of the time it was difficult to manage financially. After handing myself over to Spirit, my income increased and kept on increasing. I am a person who does not need much to survive, but I do need a nice house/apartment to live in and to be able to know I have a little money in reserve. All that I have earned has been plowed back into the work I do, after living and travel expenses are covered. Because of that, I believe I am taken care of by those energies.
History to date supports that belief. However, I have studied long and hard to get where I am today, worked long hours and often got up in the middle of the night to write messages from my teacher which I knew needed to be written down, not saved for the morning when often I would forget them altogether. In 25 years I have slowly and steadily raised my fees from $20 at the beginning in 1985 to $150 for a personal reading/teaching per hour. There are many in my field who charge a lot more. Public opinion though is not good about what we charge. I am not only talking about me personally, but all others in the field of metaphysics. I watch people’s faces as I tell them what I charge per hour. Sometimes I wish I had a video camera because it is not a look of pleasure on their face. This is then followed most of the time by the comment “I will see about it in a few weeks time” usually never to see them again!
I kept blaming other things for it, and why would I not? I had done these things, had I not? Many accidents happened while ice skating, others in athletics, others doing work in a gym. However, I had never looked at why my Self was doing this to my knee.
I had read Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” I was a metaphysical teacher & reader – even a medical intuitive – but as is usually the case I could not “read” myself. We finally had a medical intuitive begin work at our center and, whether it was her energy or the fact that I was no longer “close to the bone” of being a medical intuitive myself. For the first time I was able to spend time thinking of me. I had bought the book (mentioned earlier in this blog) written by Inna Segal (an Australian) a few years ago in Singapore intending to read it, but I had not done so. One day I found myself picking it up, reading it, and finally finding the answer to my knee issue. It was an “aha” moment for me. I finally took responsibility for the knee myself, and stopped blaming other things for it. Amazingly, the knee began to heal – albeit slowly, a little at a time – but I could see progress. I was taking vitamins and joint tablets which were not harmful to my body (not drugs) and still using my pain cream, but I could see an improvement. I do not know what the future holds with the knee, but I do know that I am going to try as hard as I can to heal it completely. I am using my cane less and less. The magnetic mattress topper I bought has been an incredible help to me along with the pillow which also has magnets in it. Today I actually left my cane in the bedroom and walked to my office not even missing it! I intend to keep on that way. As for the TV show, bring it on! I am going to love doing it and have no fear of doing it.
As busy as I was, I could not see what was happening and then, as usual, Maitreya, my spiritual teacher (in response to a prayer for help with the knee) came in and showed me what I was doing. I could not believe what I had done so far. Then I had to change the situation. I was led to some natural tablets for the joints and bones. These began to help me and, as time passed, I was able to use the cane less and less. I do not know the final outcome of this issue, but I am now saying affirmations that my knee will go back to normal as it was. I am positive this will be successful now that I am aware of it. Of course, there are some who would say that my weight is a contributing factor, and I would agree, but without the weight I cannot carry the energy and so it has to be for the time being.
The observations over the years have been quite amazing. “Can’t Maitreya help you?” is the main comment I get when people see me limping and ask what is wrong with me. “Surely God can help you.” is another, along with many other similar comments. Yes! They can help me, but first I needed to want to heal myself and I could not see that it was my problem. It was all of my injuries over the years on that left knee. I had also had accidents and fell on my right knee. but of course that was not a problem. So why just the left knee? I did find after doing a trance channel session the knee was very painful, but it was only the blocked energy in the knee (a sabotage issue) which was creating the problem. Had it not been there, I would not have had the issue or the pain.
I left for New Zealand with a few books, my personal belongings, and my new man. It was his decision to leave to get away from my ex-husband who had become crazed with taking everything he could from me. Prior to the garage sale he had also cleared out our business (lock, stock, and barrel so-to-speak) then emptied the bank account from the business. After the garage sale he came after the car, but we sold it and, thankfully, that paid our air fares to New Zealand and our new lives. My ex ended up paying a terrible price for his actions though as he had to pay his own taxes for two years of being with me, and it was a tidy sum. He did not have the money, and it took him years to pay it back.
Again, I was detached. My teacher, Maitreya, told me that I could not get it back; it was best to move forward despite the fear. Within six months I was earning four times the income I had been earning in Australia. Once again I set up house and, before long, had replaced everything I had lost in Australia. It was strange for me to be so detached. I could not believe I was that way, yet I was, and a few months after leaving Australia, I received a plea from my ex that he needed to move house to another town and could not afford to. Did I help him to move? Yes, I did. I sent him $1500 – a lot of money then. I had no animosity toward him either. I felt sorry for him but, once again with Spirit’s help, I was able to let go and move on. It had taken many years to make the decision then implement it.
I could see that one client of mine would do so well as a teacher, but she was so frightened of standing up and speaking to people. I suggested she go to Toastmasters to learn how to speak to people in public. The look on her face told me that she did not want to hear this! However, I persisted each time I saw her socially and professionally, and finally she went. It changed her life. Now she is confident and motivated in her public speaking and has an incredible career in the public arena.
We are so terrible to ourselves when we are told that we have talent, can or should be in business for ourselves, or can be very successful. Most people live in poverty consciousness and cannot entertain the fact they can be successful. I was one of those people for a long time. The fact that I could be successful in business was alien to me for such a long time, yet look at what I achieved. I was only successful because Maitreya told me that I was invincible and there is nothing I cannot do for myself. We are all invincible. There is nothing we cannot do and, as I have quoted Maitreya many times, if someone told the bumble bee it could not fly, it would not fly. But it does not know that and it flies despite being too top-heavy to fly. It is the same in business. There is always an answer and, if it is time to close the doors and move on, there is always something better on the other side of the door. I can help a company or individual within a company to see what there is ahead after the doors close. Most of the time, however, I can see that the doors do not need to close. I believe God gave us the planets to help us with our lives, and that using those planets and knowing where they are in our lives can enrich our lives more than we know.
