We spend so much time living in the past – living with regrets for things we did when we did not know any better at the time. Once we do know, we can change, and change is usually very positive. But each soul has their own time for change. We cannot progress forward unless we can understand why we do things. More than anything, we need to let go of any judgment against ourselves. We are not perfect; we cannot be because we have a Self constantly hounding us with negative questions and answers. However, if we are truly honest with ourselves and God, we are truly being who we should be, not what people want us to become.
I am not afraid any more to speak my truth; it is as simple as that. I often watch people as Alan often speaks my truth for me. It is as if I am not there in the room. Often they cannot believe we are being so honest. It is the same with many different subjects, especially about sex. Alan and I have no inhibitions in talking about anything to do with sex. Ninety-five percent of the population is terrified of speaking about it. It is really interesting to watch people’s reactions as we begin speaking our truth about that subject. However, to be able to speak my truth quietly and clearly has brought a peace inside of me which I cannot describe.
Maitreya has said that we all need to speak our own truth, but how many of us do? Not only do I have peace inside of myself, I have more energy in my daily life and for the things I need to manifest. I am not bogged down with unspoken words I should have said, but never did. The next time someone asks you a question to which you need to give an answer, speak your truth. Yes! Speak your truth – do not hold back. With Love in your heart, say what you truly mean and would like to say, not what they want you to say or expect you to say. You will then be true to yourself. Not only that, you will be true to God, whatever you deem that energy to be!
I believe it goes back into the history of the gypsy with the scarf and the large hoop earrings and to the days of fortune tellers foretelling doom and gloom. I also believe it is because the word “psychic” is so feared, and I think we have to change this vision. Even in the fairy tales the seer (as in “Sleeping Beauty”) foretells that the princess will prick her finger with a needle and sleep for 100 years – or words to that effect. In “Snow White” the witch feeds Snow White a poisoned apple. For some reason all those who “see” or have second sight are portrayed as evil in some way. Oh yes, we have TV shows these days such as “Medium” and “Ghost Whisperer,” but even with Ghost Whisperer the intro scene leaves nothing positive as heads come out of the ground etc.
Nearly everything on a metaphysical level is shown in a fear inducing or negative light. There is nothing showing the healing taking place with those who have these gifts or the assistance people get on a positive level from this kind of advice. Until we can de-mystify metaphysical subjects I do believe we will never have people believing in those of us who are genuine and who can prove it. Not only that; but 97% of the population does not realize that their aches and pains come from this or past-life issues. Maitreya has told me that one day people will visit an astrologer like they do their doctor, but before that can happen things have to change. I intend to work hard to bring that change into being. I am already doing it in a way, and will be doing more in the future.
These days Alan and I never travel without a few bottles of Aura Balance Spray (a spray channeled by “Sister,” one of the energies I channel). It is an amazing spray and can change the energy of a room immediately. It is almost as if it swallows anything in the room which can disturb the psyche. Alan and I spray it in rental cars, hotel rooms, and anywhere we can feel other people’s energy. It is an amazing product and one we never travel without.
Energy is everywhere and we just do not understand how to use it and how it can be abused by others. I have written in prior blogs about not being able to go out to shopping centers and malls because of the energy out there. One very incredible experience was with Alan when we stayed in a hotel room in Spokane, Washington. We had only just got into the room and I suddenly went crazy, yelling at Alan for no reason over something very minor. Poor man, he did not know what had hit him. I got so angry I was like a madwoman. Thankfully, once the tirade finished, Maitreya came in and told Alan I had just cleared the hotel room of years of negative energy, including a lot of anger. I honestly did not know where it came from, but could believe it when I was told.
Another experience was when Alan went to the post office to collect a parcel for me. He had to wait quite a while for service and said he could feel people’s agitation and anger as he waited. In fact, he found himself getting very agitated as he stood in line. When he brought the parcel home, I immediately picked it up to open it and once again went crazy, getting very angry. Although it was over in seconds, Alan very quietly said, “Well I guess you just cleared out the post office, honey.”
I immediately began clearing and sorting through what we no longer needed and were not going to use. We took eleven bags of items to a local charity. From then on, each month I went through the house – especially the garage – which was where items ended up that were not being used. To my surprise, I usually found at least one or two bags a month that I could take to the charity. Ironically, after the first collection of goods my career really opened up and I was able to move forward and, may I say, it was a huge leap forward. It seemed that the moving of the stagnant energy had really opened up a whole new energy for me.
It was at this time I really began my study of energy in a much deeper way. I had no idea how much energy I was wasting just in every day life. Maitreya, in his wisdom, showed me how much energy I was wasting just by being worried. I wasted so much time thinking about the negative in my life instead of concentrating on the positive. I had not been able to see this before. I began to have faith and worry less and less. It was amazing how much more energetic I felt and how much more energy I had for my work. I could see so clearly how the Self had so much fear and how it kept me busy thinking about things to take me away from listening to my Higher Self. My Higher Self could not get through because I was so busy worrying and keeping myself busy with mindless inner chatter all day long. It took some time for this to become a reality, but it was a huge realization, and this also stopped as I moved away and tried to let go of that mindless chatter.
Today, in my life, I find myself very isolated because I just cannot be around people who are tense, stressed, in fear, or other such emotions. Although I can detach, I take on their issues into my own body. Maitreya has told me that my job is to be a negative clearinghouse. He also said that, if I do not do it, then people cannot release it. Just as I used to cry for people and still do, I now take on their conditions emotionally at the same time.
I recently had to work with someone who had a lot of fear, stress, and insecurity about there own talents. I found it so very hard to do and, at the end of the day, would go back to where we were staying and often cry and release all of the stuff I had picked up. Ironically there was one day the person was not there, and that day was like a breath of fresh air – a totally different experience. This person has an amazing talent, but has not yet released feelings that they have inside. I know those feelings are stopping them from moving forward, but until they are ready to do so, I cannot help them.
The person who asked me the original question also asked me how I am able to go to a casino and be there for a few hours without it affecting me, with my being so sensitive. It is very simple to answer. Everyone at the casino is occupied. If they do have worries, they are not thinking about them, and everyone is having fun. I do take on some conditions and can come home and cry, but it is very rare that happens. Also, the casinos I go to are not seedy places, but very bright places with water features –Feng Shui-wise – to help allay negative conditions.
I have said before that I cannot believe how much negative and old, stale energy I had inside of me, never mind the fear. I honestly believe that, had I not had Maitreya to help me with this, I would have never have released it. As time passed though, and I became more confident of my abilities, I then began to realize I was becoming more sensitive. There is no actual timing I can remember, but it was just a growing awareness along the way. I think it was when I began to do readings in which I could connect with a soul on the other side who was communicating. It was as if I became them, with all of their prior earth-bound conditions, or when I looked at a photograph of a person and became that person and was able to describe them to family and friends with all of their personality traits and energy.
I became incredibly empathic and it got to the point eventually where I could do it on radio without seeing the person; I just had to tune into their energy to know them intimately. My first radio experience of this was in 1993, so I suppose from 1985 – 1993 it was 8 years before I really began to become extremely sensitive and empathic. The person who asked me about raising the vibration asked me if this experience frightened me, and to be honest it did. I would be so amazed at what came out of my mouth when I was giving a reading. People walked away in awe and shock and, at the end of the reading, I would be the same. I also found that if clients could not release emotion, I would release it for them. It was nothing for me to break down and cry in the middle of a reading, because the client could not release the emotion. I was already doing it for husband number two because he could not release, then it transferred itself to my clients also.
